


An Alley Confrontation

by JennLynn77



Series: Right As Rain [10]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 06:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15018209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennLynn77/pseuds/JennLynn77





	An Alley Confrontation

**An Alley Confrontation**

**September 2028**

 

“If you harm one hair on his head, I swear it. I will remove your limbs one by one and revel in your screams.” Sherlock said that as calm as you please. You’d never know that John was being held at gunpoint by a mugger.

 

“I’m not going to let a couple of poofters take me inside. That’s never going to happen.”

 

“If you hurt me, that poofter is going to be the one to put you in the ground.” The arm around John’s shoulders tightened a bit, the muzzle of the pistol pushed harder against his temple. 

 

“Sherlock! Love! What are you waiting for? He’s giving you a clear headshot! Take him!”

 

“I don’t want to splash his homophobic blood on you!” 

 

“I think I may have seen a swastika on his shoulder during our scuffle.”

 

“Oh, God. He’s a Nazi, too? I’m really going to love taking you to jail. Or burying your body where no one will ever find it. Whichever option you choose, really.”

 

“How’z ‘bout I just snap your bender friend’s neck and shoot you right after and get away?”

 

“That bender is my husband. And you must be hard of hearing. Let him go, and I might decide not to kill you.”

 

“Might want to promise not to kill him, sweetheart.”

 

“Would you please stop talking like that to each other? It’s fucking disgusting!”   
  


“What’s disgusting? Stuffing our throbbing erections inside one another? Fucking until we’re screaming and releasing our pleasure inside of each other? Men and women do it! Why can’t two men?”

 

“Because it’s disgusting, that’s why! It’s not as nature intended! You’re both abominations!”

 

“Oooooh! A religious, Nazi, homophobe. How lucky are we? I bet it’s okay if two women are doing those things to each other, right? I bet you stay up late in your parents’ basement and watch lesbian pornography and get off on it. Yes, yes! I bet two women together is just fine.” Sherlock’s eyes raked over the Nazi piece of shit. Sherlock tilted his head in that reptilian way of his. “Although, I think there might be another reason for your feelings about this.” John nodded sharply, just like that night on the pool deck.

 

“Usually, those with such a visceral reaction to displays of homosexuality have deep, latent feelings of their own of which they are ashamed. Do you ever look at one of your mates and picture them naked? I bet you try and watch pornography with two or more women together, but it doesn’t quite hit the right buttons for you. Am I right?”

 

“I ain’t no nancy boy, you arsehole!” He removed the pistol from John’s forehead and pointed it at Sherlock instead.

 

“Leave my arsehole out of this. Or do you fancy seeing my arsehole?”

 

The mugger began waving the gun about wildly.

 

“All I wanted were your wallets and watches!!! Then I saw you both all over each other in that alley and I went crazy!

 

“Mate, I don’t think the word crazy means what you think it means. You’re not crazy right now. You’re an asshole! Would you mind removing your erect penis from the small of my back? My husband gets crazy jealous of people making a pass at me.” 

 

Oh. That did it.

 

He let go of John, and as he tried to begin his defense of his untimely and, ultimately, revealing, erection, John got in a throat punch, silencing him and crumpling him to the ground. He rounded on Sherlock. 

 

“What the hell took you so long to get to the bloody point, Sherlock? You knew that idiot was in the dark end of the closet. Why so long for the great reveal?”

 

“I was waiting for the soldier part of my husband to show himself, but he was hiding away.” 

 

“He was four inches taller than me, and he got the jump on me!”

 

“I was waiting for Captain John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers. The man who spent three years in Afghanistan. The veteran of Kandahar, Helmand and Bart’s Hospital.”

 

“He was invalided home eighteen years ago. He’s not a soldier anymore.”

 

“I don’t know. That throat punch was quite efficient. I’d ask him what he thinks, but he’s still not able to speak as of yet. I think the soldier in still in there somewhere. He just lurks under the surface until we need him to come out and play.”

 

“You could’ve just shot him, you know. He was obviously not a good thief. He left way too much space between our heads.”

 

“Well, there’s also the issue of me not having a gun.”

 

“You didn’t bring my gun?”

 

“It’s your gun! Why would I bring your gun?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe I just figured you’d be your normal inappropriate self and carry a gun on you while we went out for dinner. Sort of like when I brought it to your parents for Christmas.”    

 

“We need to stop doing this.”

 

“‘This’ what?”

 

“Being so predictable.” Sherlock pulled John’s gun out of the right pocket of his Belstaff. 

 

John laughed. “I knew it! Then why didn’t you shoot?”

 

“I couldn’t risk him pulling you into the line of the bullet. I didn’t want to have to start talking to him, either. We both know what happened the last time I spoke to a person pointing a gun at me or someone I love. I was conflicted.” Sherlock hanged his head in shame. 

 

John saw precisely where Sherlock’s train of thought was leading him. 

 

“Oh, not this again. That wasn’t your fault and you know it. He went after me because I was smaller than him. That’s all. Just the misfortune of my genetics. And it wouldn't have been your fault if I was hurt or not. We were here at the wrong time. Nothing more. What you said to him made him careless, threw him off. Just what we needed to distract him. You did what you should’ve done, Sherlock. You read him and got him to do what we needed him to do.”

 

“My deductions didn’t work on Vivian Norbury.” John’s heart leapt against his ribs.

 

“You can’t be right all the time, Sherlock. Not even you. For all your greatness, you’re human. You miscalculated. There were people in that room with you that night that you loved: Greg. Mycroft. Mary...” John’s voice trailed off a bit. “You couldn’t have anticipated Mary doing that. As I said to you before, she made up her mind. I think that was her way of apologising to you, for shooting you. She gave you a gift. Don’t squander it. Live your life doing what you do best. Just forgive yourself for the times when thing don’t turn out quite the way you want them too.”

 

“Can we just go home now? I have a set of Greg’s cuffs in my pocket. We can secure him to that skip and the police can just pick him up. I don’t want to stay here anymore.”

 

His softness was something that always struck John. He tried so hard to be impervious to the world and his surroundings, but he was so deeply embedded in it, he couldn’t help but feel so much. Sherlock came to his side on the kerb. John ruffled his hair. 

 

“Go on. Put your arm up and wave your hand and get us a cab like you always do, you magician!”

 

And he did.


End file.
